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Crime…Violence…Death…Presidential Election! What’s the Answer?

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On August 14, 2016

In Prayer

Whenever I turn on the TV or browse the internet, every news story involves crime, violence, death and this year’s Presidential election! Ok…..maybe not EVERY news story, but the media definitely devotes a considerable amount of time to sharing these reports. Although it is necessary to stay informed on what’s going on in the world, constantly hearing such news can become wearisome and discouraging. So in that case, is it better to turn off the television, shut down the internet and escape into oblivion? That may sound good and even work for a minute, but pretending these serious issues don’t exist won’t make them disappear.

So, what do we do? How do we move forward? What is the answer?

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PRAYER!!!!!!!!

 

Now, I know some may not agree with me. They may even say, “Prayer?! That’s so cliche! That’s not the answer! Time out for praying! Time out for talking! It’s time to DO something!” And for anyone who feels that way, I completely understand where you’re coming from. It’s easy to sit back, pray and, even, talk, so long as it keeps us in our comfort zones. However, the Bible says in James 2:26, that “… faith without works is dead…”  In other words, our faith that things will change is activated when we ACT!

So again, what do we do? For instance, how do we end the cycle of wrongful deaths at the hands of law enforcement? The answer is indeed PRAYER! Is that the only action that should be taken? No, but it should be the FIRST step! In fact, prayer should always be the first step. Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Notice it says to pray to God “in every situation.” Why should we go to God in EVERY situation? Isaiah 55:8-9 states, “’For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.'” Not even the most skilled and educated individual can surpass God’s wisdom. How to end police brutality, reduce the crime rate and select the best candidate for President are all serious issues that should be presented to the all-knowing, all-powerful God! When we sincerely and faithfully go to Him with our concerns and LISTEN, He provides us with the answers we need in His timing. In some instances, He tells us to be still, while in others, He gives us knowledge, resources and strategies.

Throughout the four Gospels of the New Testament, Jesus is recorded spending time in prayer regularly. He never allowed His title or popularity to convince Him that he no longer needed to pray. In fact, in the garden of Gethsemane, He prayed earnestly to God regarding his assignment of being crucified. While on earth, Jesus was a human who felt pain like you and me. So, one can only imagine that Jesus was not looking forward to an agonizing death. Jesus pleaded with His Father to alter the assignment. However, by the end of the prayer, Jesus knew that God still expected Him to sacrifice His life for all humanity! Rather than taking matters into His own hands, Jesus presented His concern to God the Father, listened and obeyed. Because of His sacrificial death, we all have a chance to be redeemed! I am truly thankful for that prayer in the garden!

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Naturally Me

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On August 4, 2016

In Inspirational

 

The day I sat in my hairstylist’s salon chair expressing how I was ready to take a break from braids, ponytails and weaves 2016-08-03 18.05.58marked the day I courageously became NATURALLY ME. If you had told me a few months prior to that moment that I’d be wearing my own naturally textured hair, I would have considered you delusional!

For a good portion of my life, I felt like my hair wasn’t good enough. Have you ever heard the phrase “good hair”? It has been used so extensively in the black community that actor and comedian Chris Rock used it to title his 2009 documentary. Well, no one ever pointed to me while uttering those words! And why would they when my hair was the exact opposite of what was deemed good?

For years I struggled with the notion that I didn’t have long, silky hair. However, by the time I reached adulthood I let the dream of having “good hair” go, choosing instead to embrace and appreciate the hair God had given me. As a part of my growing process, I even joked about having “nappy” hair. I was learning to love me for me…………………… or was I?

I was accepting of  my “nappy” hair as long as I was getting those touch-ups every 4-6 weeks. Yes, I said FOUR! RIDICULOUS! It’s a wonder I still had hair!!! Although I was over the idea of wearing long hair, I still greatly depended on relaxers. FB_IMG_1470261353877-1 Despite the hair breakage, hair shedding and even hair loss I endured, I believed there was no other way! I had a chemical dependency to the ever-popular “creamy crack”!

I quietly entertained thoughts of becoming NATURALLY ME, but fear stifled me. What was I afraid of, you ask? I feared being criticized and ridiculed. And let’s be honest! As human beings, it feels good to be accepted, to receive compliments and have people like you. However, I had to realize that in this imperfect world, some people are just not going to approve of you, no matter what you do!

As I stood in my mirror staring at the TWA (teeny weeny afro) my stylist had just carefully coiffed, I finally was able to recognize my God-given beauty. “Who told you that something was wrong with your hair?” God asked. I didn’t answer. “It wasn’t Me,” He continued. I still didn’t respond. How could I? God was right! He didn’t make a mistake when He created me! Nevertheless, human standards of beauty caused me to believe that I had been cheated. After God finished speaking to me, I immediately repented for all the years I wasted criticizing myself. Ultimately, I wasn’t criticizing me, but My Creator! In that moment I was set free to be NATURALLY ME!!! FB_IMG_1470263697335

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Family: One of God’s Many Treasures

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On July 24, 2016

In Family

Family, whether through blood, adoption or another special connection, is one of God’s many treasures. I was reminded of this truth during the weekend of our Ealey Family Reunion held right here in Cincinnati. The Ealeys are my mother’s father’s family. My grandfather Jeremiah Ealey, born in 1883, married my grandmother Eunice Smith (approximately 20 years his junior). JeremiahAndEuniceEaley From their union were born seven children: Herschel Alvin (front row, left), Pearlie Inez (front row, right), Rubye Mae (2nd row, right), Ethel Pearl (2nd row, 2nd from right), Mary Helen (2nd row, center), James Hosea (back row) and Geraldine Marie (my mommy, 2nd row, left). EaleyChildrenSo, based on those numbers alone, one can only imagine how large our family has become….pretty large!

Last weekend I was reminded of how blessed I am to have such a large family, for we’re not just large in number but in LOVE! That love is rooted deeply in our DNA. I’m not saying that our family is perfect, nor am I implying that we never have challenges or even heartache. However, I am saying that we always triumph because of our never-ending love for God and for each other. EaleyReunionPic In fact, maintaining faith in God is how our family thrives! I am thankful that I was taught at an early age to love and trust in the Almighty! My faith is what keeps me and propels me to achieve greater! My mother and her siblings were not only taught to love and trust God, but they watched their parents live their lives devoted to Him. Church attendance, Bible study and prayer meetings were the norm. As a result, my generation received the same teachings, and for that, I am truly grateful. EaleyCousins2

Now, more than ever, I appreciate every opportunity I have to come together with my family, including my dad’s family The Thomases (my grandmother Willie Myrtle, back row, left, with my great-aunts and great-uncle). Thomases God has surrounded me with LOVE. My cousin Michelle expressed to me recently why she believes having these annual family reunions is a must. “This family reunion is so important to me. We have aging family members, and I don’t want a funeral to serve as a family reunion. I want our kids to know who their family is and why we are who we are.” EaleyCousins

FAMILY……….I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Power of Words

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On July 5, 2016

In Faith

Words have power! Did you know that? If you are a living, breathing human being, then I’m sure you know what I mean. In the Bible in the third chapter of James, the writer compares the tongue to a flame of fire. Now, why would he compare that tiny organ, which God so carefully placed inside your mouth to assist with eating and speaking, to fire? James 3:6 (New Living Translation) says, “And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set on fire by hell itself.” Although very small, the human tongue is capable of doing considerable damage, even total destruction, because words have POWER! That’s the way God designed it! In Genesis 1, the sun, moon, stars, sky, ocean, grass, trees, flowers, and animals were all formed by God simply speaking WORDS. As humans created in God’s image and likeness, our words are also designed to carry weight.

People either achieve greatness or fail to ever achieve because of words. Some children excel in school, and then later flunk out in their teens because of words. Many choose to live their lives to the fullest, while some see suicide as their only option because of WORDS! “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is a quote I heard often and even repeated as a child. Although I understand the message the originator was trying to convey, simply reciting the catchy phrase didn’t prevent the pain that certain words caused. I share in my blog post “Why Can’t I Be Beautiful?” about how certain words caused me to feel ugly as a teenager. The boy who was guilty of hurting me didn’t throw sticks and stones to break my bones or even punch me in the face with his fist. I remained physically intact, but mentally and emotionally I was a mess. Nevertheless, I thank God for His everlasting love which holds me and keeps me safe! My loving Father directed me to His Word and taught me how to cast down the words of hate and embrace His words of LOVE! I discovered that, although the young man’s words were powerful, God’s Word and the words of LIFE I choose to speak will overpower and annihilate the lies of my enemies!

James 3 shows me that, although the tongue is capable of causing great harm, it can be tamed. Therefore, as a child of God, I must tame my tongue daily. I am to be a witness for Jesus Christ, not just when I share the Gospel, but by displaying God’s love and righteousness. People watch what I do and listen to what I say.  James 3:9 (New International Version) says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.” I must control my tongue daily so that I don’t damage someone’s heart. God is holding me responsible!

I pray that more of our children learn the Word of God and are surrounded by adults who model good behavior and speech. I pray that we adults always make quality time for our children engaging them in productive conversations. Such moments are crucial because that’s when we’re able to speak words of life to counteract what they hear outside of the home. It can be a matter of life or death!  God and His Word definitely saved mine!

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A One-Woman Skit

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On June 26, 2016

In Inspirational

Early this month, I had the honor of performing a one-woman skit at my church Power and Faith Ministries’ Annual Women’s Conference.  Although it was not the first time I had acted—–even in a skit by myself—–it was the first time I had performed in a skit I created all on my own.

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When my mom asked me to do a skit based on the conference’s theme, “Wise Women Build”, I didn’t hesitate to say yes.  I had already decided that 2016 is the year I am going to branch out and create my own projects.  Once upon a time, maybe even as early as last year, I would have been reluctant, suggesting that my mom write the skit for me.  After all, she had written skits and plays for me in the past.  However, I knew that this time I needed to say yes and accept the challenge!

For many, writing skits and plays comes naturally.  But, for me, not so much!  The challenge wasn’t because I couldn’t do it, but because I had never taken the time to do so.  It was always easier for me to have someone hand me an already completed script.  All I had to do then was concentrate on memorizing the lines and bringing the character to life.

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To write my own script means to reach beyond just learning lines.  I now have to look at the world around me and consider my many encounters along the way, in order to create characters and stories that mimic my experiences and observations.  Although this new challenge was fun, it was also a little scary.

*Will people like my skit?

*Will it be funny or just corny?

*Will it be dramatic enough?

*Will the audience be able to connect with the characters?

*Will it even make sense?

In spite of the questions floating around in my head, I chose to step out on faith in God and in the gift He has given me.

When I first sat down in front of the computer, I asked God to write through me.  And He did just that!  The setting, characters and dialogue came to me at the snap of a finger!  It was exhilarating and liberating!  I was finally creating my own project without struggle.  In fact, I was writing so much, I had to remind myself that I was asked to write a skit, not a four act play!

The night I premiered my skit was the moment of truth, and boy was I nervous!  I wasn’t nervous about acting, but about how well my writing would be received.  Although I believed the script was good with the right amount of humor and drama mixed in, the audience’s reaction would tell the truth!  The response was overwhelming!  They even laughed during what was meant to be the funny moments.  By the end of the church service, I had received much praise from members of the congregation.  Some even suggested that I turn it into a one-woman show (I’ll be working on that soon).  One woman, in particular, said that she was able to relate to the character, while another requested that I perform it at an upcoming conference.

For the past couple of years, God had been telling me to write.  However, due to a lack of confidence and fear of the unknown, I wouldn’t do it.  Needless to say, because of His undying love, God allowed things around me to come to a halt in order to get my attention.  Well God………….You have my attention!!!  And now that I’m writing, there’s no time to stop or even slow down!  Someone, somewhere needs to hear MY story!

 

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Dear Daddy

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On June 15, 2016

In Family

Dear Daddy,

Happy Father’s Day!  Instead of the average Hallmark Greeting Card from the “Mahogany Collection”, this letter is written to show you MY appreciation.

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From the moment I came into the world, you have always been there for me. You once told me that before I was born you were hoping for a boy —– which is probably what most fathers wish for —– someone to teach how to catch a ball, to shave, to fix cars, to date girls……….to be a man .  However, you said that once you laid eyes on me, none of that even mattered.  I was your first born, your baby girl, your Daughter-Child (your special name for me).   I can even recall Mommy stating that you were sooo crazy about me!

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How is LOVE defined?  Is it an emotion or a simple word?  Well, I’m inclined to agree with the saying that “LOVE is an ACTION word”!  In the Bible, Psalms 103:13 states, “Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”  A TRUE father has compassion or love for his children, and Daddy, you are the epitome of fatherly love!  You have worked so hard all your adult life to insure that BJ and I had everything we needed.  Because of your diligence and determination, we were both able to attend college and receive our degrees.  You weren’t going to allow a lack of money to stop us from reaching our goals.  In fact, I wanted to go to college because you instilled that desire in me at an early age.  “I’m saving for your college education,”  is what you used to always tell me, even when I was only in the first grade.

Daddy, you were the first man to tell me that you love me.  You loved me before I knew how to love myself.  You were the first man to hug and kiss me with pure affection.  You believed in me before I believed in myself.  You called me beautiful when I thought I was ugly.  You bought me my first gold necklace and my first pair of diamond earrings.  You have always taking excellent care of me!  Although I am now an adult, I know that there is nothing you wouldn’t do for me because your love is just that vast!  You have shown me how a man should love and take care of me.  Last, but not least, you gave me my good looks!!!  After all, I am YOUR TWIN!!!!

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I LOVE YOU DADDY!  HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!!!

Sincerely,

 

Daughter-Child

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Why Can’t I Be Beautiful?

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On June 12, 2016

In Love Yourself

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“Why can’t I be beautiful?” was a question I repeatedly asked myself, as I stared at my reflection in the mirror.  I was only 12 years old, and life for me SUCKED!  Well, it didn’t really suck, but as an adolescent girl in the midst of puberty, I magnified everything to the tenth power!  Prior to adolescence, periodically I was ridiculed for being tall and skinny, and for sporting a greasy Jheri curl.  Although I didn’t care for my body image and hair, I didn’t deem myself ugly.  If only my legs were bigger and my hair longer, I would be just fine.  However, when puberty hit, my face exploded with uncontrollable acne and oily skin.  I looked a mess!  I remember taking my 7th grade school picture and absolutely hating it, for my face shined like the moon on a well-lit night.  “Why do I have to look like this?” I asked myself as I stood in the mirror.  I always had a habit of comparing myself to other females, but this experience took my insecurities to another level.  I can recall sitting in class and scoping out the classroom, admiring all the BEAUTIFUL girls.  I longed to look like one of them —– clear skin and long hair.  Life would be so much better if God would show me the same grace He had shown these beautiful swans!

The day that “Jacob” called me UGLY was a day I would soon never forget, for it solidified what I had already come to believe about myself.  It was any normal school day as we sat in the cafeteria eating lunch at Princeton Junior High School.  I don’t remember the conversation or if we were even arguing.  However, what I now know about myself that I didn’t know then was that I can be sarcastic, and I tend to have a dry sense of humor.  So, whatever I said to “Jacob” set him off, especially since it caused those around us to laugh.  Not wanting to be the butt of my joke, he went off.  I honestly don’t remember everything he said because once the words, “YOU ARE UGLY!” hatefully spewed from his lips, I didn’t hear anything else.  “WOW!  So, it’s true!  I really am UGLY!  I knew it!  I was just hoping no one else had noticed,” I thought as I sat there humiliated at the lunch table, while “Jacob” continued browbeating me.

That moment in the cafeteria, not only made me feel ugly, but ALONE.  No one, and I mean NO ONE came to my aid!  I couldn’t understand why no one stood up for me.  The people I thought were now my friends said absolutely nothing in my defense.  As I look back on it as an adult, there can be a number of reasons why they didn’t say anything.  Perhaps, they didn’t want “Jacob” going off on them, too.  Better yet, maybe they were waiting to see what I would say in retaliation.  In fact, “Jacob” probably didn’t expect me to be so quiet.  Prior to this moment, he and I had been very cordial to each other.  But, if anyone was waiting for me to speak up for myself or to even turn around and call him ugly too, they were going to be waiting a long time.  There was no point in fighting back because, as far as I was concerned, he was right —– I WAS UGLY!  Already possessing low self-esteem, I just sat there and allowed the hateful words to take root in my heart.  As a 12 year old 7th grader, I adopted a mindset that would take me YEARS to break away from!  As time went on, I did my best to avoid confrontation with the wrong people. I didn’t want another person pointing out the fact that I was ugly.

Entering high school, I hated how I viewed myself and wanted to believe differently, but it was hard.  Naturally, my family tried to assure me that I was BEAUTIFUL.  However, it didn’t matter what they said if I didn’t believe it myself.  I didn’t know the right strategy to take, but I knew I had to change my way of thinking.  My dad used to always tell me that what people think about themselves is what they become.  So, I began telling myself that I was beautiful.  For a long time, I still didn’t believe it, but I continued saying it.  My confidence was at stake!  Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”  In other words, what was spoken to me on that haunting day caused me to feel less than what God had really made me to be because I chose to embrace hateful words rather than dismiss them.  Nevertheless, thanks to the love of God, family and true friends, I was motivated to push through, even while the words were still echoing in my ears years later.  I was tired of being insecure.  I wanted to be better, and I knew that was contingent upon me changing the way I thought and spoke.

My beliefs didn’t change overnight.  It took some years to uproot the “plants” that had grown in my heart.  In fact, I’m still shaking off residue even now!  Although it was a painful experience for a 12 year old girl, who only wants to be accepted and liked by her peers, it helped shape me into the woman I am today.  Because of that experience, I had to learn to speak words of LIFE to myself.  If you keep hearing something over and over again, eventually you will believe it. Romans 10:17 says, “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”  Although the apostle Paul was referring to having faith in Jesus Christ, the scripture can be applied to other situations, as well.  I wanted to believe I was beautiful so I began telling myself just that!  Psalms 139:14 states, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  God took time to lovingly craft me in His powerful, yet gentle hands!  Now, how can I deny such a beautiful MASTERPIECE?!!

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Recording artist Leah Smith sings a song entitled “Beautifully Made”.  The first time I heard the lyrics I was amazed at how much it parallels the journey I call MY LIFE. Leah sings, “I’ve had those days where I wanted to be someone else, not good enough just being me.  And I’ve had those times when I’ve looked into the mirror not happy at all at what I’d see, ’cause I don’t feel special, and I don’t feel beautiful and I don’t feel smart enough, strong enough, good enough – feel like nothing at all. But in times like these I come back to the truth that I have found!    I am beautifully and wonderfully made! I am beautifully and wonderfully made!”

I encourage you to listen to the song in its entirety.  I pray it blesses you!

 

 

 

 

 
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Praise Me!

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On June 6, 2016

In Praise & Thanksgiving

          While spending time with God in prayer, I have been hearing Him say, “Praise Me!” Since my days at a church I used to attend in Middletown, Ohio, I have been a radical praiser.  Inspired by other church members, I would shout at the top of my lungs, cry, dance, leap and run around the sanctuary, all to show God my appreciation.
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          Once my parents opened their own church almost ten years later, I decided to take my praise up a notch. I had just attended Impact Conference ’96 in Atlanta with other students from Miami University. A Christian event specifically for college students, it was an experience I would soon never forget. I had been in church all my life, but I had never witnessed young adults praise God the way they were at that conference. There was so much excitement and energy in those services, it was contagious! Young men and women were clapping their hands, singing aloud, leaping and even standing on the hotel conference room chairs. It was CRAZY—but in a good way! These young people, who filled the Ballroom at Atlanta Hilton to capacity, were not ashamed to express their love and appreciation for Jesus.
          My experience at the conference made me realize that if we can be overly excited about a football or basketball game, or party “like it’s 1999” at the club, then we can certainly put forth the same effort, if not more, for our Lord and Savior! So, when I returned from Atlanta, I was a different person. Just like the ones joyfully singing, clapping, leaping and standing on chairs at Impact ’96, I too wanted to praise God with all my might, showing Him my gratitude.
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           As I spend time alone with God, I hear His voice say, “Praise Me!” There are some things I have been asking God to do in my life, and His response now is “Praise Me!” I appreciate the open dialogue I have with my Father for He tells me what I need to hear, even if it’s not always what I want to hear. I believe that God is about to bless me in a great way, but in the MEANTIME I must praise Him! Why must I praise Him?
          1. God expects my praise.  I Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”  It is God’s will that I praise Him.  After all, that’s why He created me.  Just like the sun, moon, stars, trees, flowers, birds, and fish (Psalms 148), God wants me to give Him glory!
          2. Praising God revives me spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. Psalms 147:1 says, “Praise ye the LORD: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely.” Also Nehemiah 8:10b says, “….the joy of the Lord is your strength.” No matter how I may feel, when I choose to praise God and just spend time with Him, I find myself feeling better.  My praise invites His presence into my atmosphere.
          3. Most importantly, GOD DESERVES MY PRAISE!  I agree with the psalmist in Psalms 115:1. “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness.” Yes, I may not have everything I want, or even need, but God is still God, and He is worthy of my appreciation! He loves me harder than anyone else can.  He is faithful to me, even during those moments when I’m not being as faithful to Him as I should.
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           I’m afraid that with the hustle and bustle of life, sometimes as humans we forget to be grateful. So I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to ALWAYS let God know just how much you appreciate and love Him. The late Gospel singer and songwriter Walter Hawkins was so on point when he used to sing with his choir, “Be grateful because there’s someone else who’s worse off than you.  Be grateful because there’s someone else who’d love to be in your shoes.”

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I Am a Writer!

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On May 30, 2016

In Inspirational

I am a writer!  However, for many years I didn’t know it. Early on, writing seemed like a chore. When I attempted to keep a diary like the little girls on television and in my Judy Blume books, I was left with many blank pages.  I just couldn’t make myself jot down my daily happenings.  Instead of “Dear Diary”, for me it was “Dear God”. Why would I share my hopes, dreams, hurts, pain, frustration and even anger with a book?!  It just didn’t make sense.  I had been taught to give my heart to Jesus and to tell Him about anything that’s bothering me. I knelt on the side of my bed, folded my hands, bowed by head, closed my eyes and prayed to Almighty God.  Although I didn’t realize at the time that there was more than one way to pray—like in a prayer journal—I was and am still a writer!

As a child, writing for me was simply writing in complete sentences while using correct grammar, punctuation and sentence structure.  In fact, I was a nerd in that department.  I enjoyed learning grammar and, I especially LOVED diagramming sentences.  What eighth grade student enjoys grammar lessons?! This girl right here!  Although it seems odd, my love for structuring sentences then has helped me to be the writer I am now.  After all, I am a writer!

As an English Education major at Miami University, I began exploring this hidden talent of mine thanks to my “Creative Writing” class. I found myself writing poetry and short stories, and it was fun! The creative writing allowed me to tap into my five senses: sight, smell, hearing, taste, touch. I was learning how to paint a vivid picture with words because I am a writer!

As a former high school English Teacher, it is now my desire and mission to use this God-given talent I failed to recognize before. I look forward to the journey of writing. It is my hope and prayer that my words will help and uplift others, for the world will soon see that I AM A WRITER!

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