Know Yourself...Be Yourself...Love Yourself - THE KIMBERLY JOY SHOW Fridays at 4:15PM & Saturdays at 6PM on Inspiration 1050 AM & 103.1 FM WGRI (Cincinnati) or www.inspiration1050.com
Happy Father’s Day! Instead of the average Hallmark Greeting Card from the “Mahogany Collection”, this letter is written to show you MY appreciation.
From the moment I came into the world, you have always been there for me. You once told me that before I was born you were hoping for a boy —– which is probably what most fathers wish for —– someone to teach how to catch a ball, to shave, to fix cars, to date girls……….to be a man . However, you said that once you laid eyes on me, none of that even mattered. I was your first born, your baby girl, your Daughter-Child (your special name for me). I can even recall Mommy stating that you were sooo crazy about me!
How is LOVE defined? Is it an emotion or a simple word? Well, I’m inclined to agree with the saying that “LOVE is an ACTION word”! In the Bible, Psalms 103:13 states, “Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.” A TRUE father has compassion or love for his children, and Daddy, you are the epitome of fatherly love! You have worked so hard all your adult life to insure that BJ and I had everything we needed. Because of your diligence and determination, we were both able to attend college and receive our degrees. You weren’t going to allow a lack of money to stop us from reaching our goals. In fact, I wanted to go to college because you instilled that desire in me at an early age. “I’m saving for your college education,” is what you used to always tell me, even when I was only in the first grade.
Daddy, you were the first man to tell me that you love me. You loved me before I knew how to love myself. You were the first man to hug and kiss me with pure affection. You believed in me before I believed in myself. You called me beautiful when I thought I was ugly. You bought me my first gold necklace and my first pair of diamond earrings. You have always taking excellent care of me! Although I am now an adult, I know that there is nothing you wouldn’t do for me because your love is just that vast! You have shown me how a man should love and take care of me. Last, but not least, you gave me my good looks!!! After all, I am YOUR TWIN!!!!
I LOVE YOU DADDY! HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!!!
Sincerely,
Daughter-Child
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“Why can’t I be beautiful?” was a question I repeatedly asked myself, as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was only 12 years old, and life for me SUCKED! Well, it didn’t really suck, but as an adolescent girl in the midst of puberty, I magnified everything to the tenth power! Prior to adolescence, periodically I was ridiculed for being tall and skinny, and for sporting a greasy Jheri curl. Although I didn’t care for my body image and hair, I didn’t deem myself ugly. If only my legs were bigger and my hair longer, I would be just fine. However, when puberty hit, my face exploded with uncontrollable acne and oily skin. I looked a mess! I remember taking my 7th grade school picture and absolutely hating it, for my face shined like the moon on a well-lit night. “Why do I have to look like this?” I asked myself as I stood in the mirror. I always had a habit of comparing myself to other females, but this experience took my insecurities to another level. I can recall sitting in class and scoping out the classroom, admiring all the BEAUTIFUL girls. I longed to look like one of them —– clear skin and long hair. Life would be so much better if God would show me the same grace He had shown these beautiful swans!
The day that “Jacob” called me UGLY was a day I would soon never forget, for it solidified what I had already come to believe about myself. It was any normal school day as we sat in the cafeteria eating lunch at Princeton Junior High School. I don’t remember the conversation or if we were even arguing. However, what I now know about myself that I didn’t know then was that I can be sarcastic, and I tend to have a dry sense of humor. So, whatever I said to “Jacob” set him off, especially since it caused those around us to laugh. Not wanting to be the butt of my joke, he went off. I honestly don’t remember everything he said because once the words, “YOU ARE UGLY!” hatefully spewed from his lips, I didn’t hear anything else. “WOW! So, it’s true! I really am UGLY! I knew it! I was just hoping no one else had noticed,” I thought as I sat there humiliated at the lunch table, while “Jacob” continued browbeating me.
That moment in the cafeteria, not only made me feel ugly, but ALONE. No one, and I mean NO ONE came to my aid! I couldn’t understand why no one stood up for me. The people I thought were now my friends said absolutely nothing in my defense. As I look back on it as an adult, there can be a number of reasons why they didn’t say anything. Perhaps, they didn’t want “Jacob” going off on them, too. Better yet, maybe they were waiting to see what I would say in retaliation. In fact, “Jacob” probably didn’t expect me to be so quiet. Prior to this moment, he and I had been very cordial to each other. But, if anyone was waiting for me to speak up for myself or to even turn around and call him ugly too, they were going to be waiting a long time. There was no point in fighting back because, as far as I was concerned, he was right —– I WAS UGLY! Already possessing low self-esteem, I just sat there and allowed the hateful words to take root in my heart. As a 12 year old 7th grader, I adopted a mindset that would take me YEARS to break away from! As time went on, I did my best to avoid confrontation with the wrong people. I didn’t want another person pointing out the fact that I was ugly.
Entering high school, I hated how I viewed myself and wanted to believe differently, but it was hard. Naturally, my family tried to assure me that I was BEAUTIFUL. However, it didn’t matter what they said if I didn’t believe it myself. I didn’t know the right strategy to take, but I knew I had to change my way of thinking. My dad used to always tell me that what people think about themselves is what they become. So, I began telling myself that I was beautiful. For a long time, I still didn’t believe it, but I continued saying it. My confidence was at stake! Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” In other words, what was spoken to me on that haunting day caused me to feel less than what God had really made me to be because I chose to embrace hateful words rather than dismiss them. Nevertheless, thanks to the love of God, family and true friends, I was motivated to push through, even while the words were still echoing in my ears years later. I was tired of being insecure. I wanted to be better, and I knew that was contingent upon me changing the way I thought and spoke.
My beliefs didn’t change overnight. It took some years to uproot the “plants” that had grown in my heart. In fact, I’m still shaking off residue even now! Although it was a painful experience for a 12 year old girl, who only wants to be accepted and liked by her peers, it helped shape me into the woman I am today. Because of that experience, I had to learn to speak words of LIFE to myself. If you keep hearing something over and over again, eventually you will believe it. Romans 10:17 says, “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Although the apostle Paul was referring to having faith in Jesus Christ, the scripture can be applied to other situations, as well. I wanted to believe I was beautiful so I began telling myself just that! Psalms 139:14 states, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” God took time to lovingly craft me in His powerful, yet gentle hands! Now, how can I deny such a beautiful MASTERPIECE?!!
Recording artist Leah Smith sings a song entitled “Beautifully Made”. The first time I heard the lyrics I was amazed at how much it parallels the journey I call MY LIFE. Leah sings, “I’ve had those days where I wanted to be someone else, not good enough just being me. And I’ve had those times when I’ve looked into the mirror not happy at all at what I’d see, ’cause I don’t feel special, and I don’t feel beautiful and I don’t feel smart enough, strong enough, good enough – feel like nothing at all. But in times like these I come back to the truth that I have found! I am beautifully and wonderfully made! I am beautifully and wonderfully made!”
I encourage you to listen to the song in its entirety. I pray it blesses you!
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While spending time with God in prayer, I have been hearing Him say, “Praise Me!” Since my days at a church I used to attend in Middletown, Ohio, I have been a radical praiser. Inspired by other church members, I would shout at the top of my lungs, cry, dance, leap and run around the sanctuary, all to show God my appreciation.
Once my parents opened their own church almost ten years later, I decided to take my praise up a notch. I had just attended Impact Conference ’96 in Atlanta with other students from Miami University. A Christian event specifically for college students, it was an experience I would soon never forget. I had been in church all my life, but I had never witnessed young adults praise God the way they were at that conference. There was so much excitement and energy in those services, it was contagious! Young men and women were clapping their hands, singing aloud, leaping and even standing on the hotel conference room chairs. It was CRAZY—but in a good way! These young people, who filled the Ballroom at Atlanta Hilton to capacity, were not ashamed to express their love and appreciation for Jesus.
My experience at the conference made me realize that if we can be overly excited about a football or basketball game, or party “like it’s 1999” at the club, then we can certainly put forth the same effort, if not more, for our Lord and Savior! So, when I returned from Atlanta, I was a different person. Just like the ones joyfully singing, clapping, leaping and standing on chairs at Impact ’96, I too wanted to praise God with all my might, showing Him my gratitude.
As I spend time alone with God, I hear His voice say, “Praise Me!” There are some things I have been asking God to do in my life, and His response now is “Praise Me!” I appreciate the open dialogue I have with my Father for He tells me what I need to hear, even if it’s not always what I want to hear. I believe that God is about to bless me in a great way, but in the MEANTIME I must praise Him! Why must I praise Him?
1. God expects my praise. I Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” It is God’s will that I praise Him. After all, that’s why He created me. Just like the sun, moon, stars, trees, flowers, birds, and fish (Psalms 148), God wants me to give Him glory!
2. Praising God revives me spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. Psalms 147:1 says, “Praise ye the LORD: for it is good to sing praises unto our God; for it is pleasant; and praise is comely.” Also Nehemiah 8:10b says, “….the joy of the Lord is your strength.” No matter how I may feel, when I choose to praise God and just spend time with Him, I find myself feeling better. My praise invites His presence into my atmosphere.
3. Most importantly, GOD DESERVES MY PRAISE! I agree with the psalmist in Psalms 115:1. “Not to us, Lord, not to us, but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness.” Yes, I may not have everything I want, or even need, but God is still God, and He is worthy of my appreciation! He loves me harder than anyone else can. He is faithful to me, even during those moments when I’m not being as faithful to Him as I should.
I’m afraid that with the hustle and bustle of life, sometimes as humans we forget to be grateful. So I encourage you, as I encourage myself, to ALWAYS let God know just how much you appreciate and love Him. The late Gospel singer and songwriter Walter Hawkins was so on point when he used to sing with his choir, “Be grateful because there’s someone else who’s worse off than you. Be grateful because there’s someone else who’d love to be in your shoes.”
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