Tag: marriage

When You Look At Me, What Do YOU See?

On May 23, 2017

WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME, WHAT DO YOU SEE?
The following excerpt is a spoken word I wrote and presented a couple of years ago at a women’s conference. As you read it, you may recognize the story.

“When you look at me, what do you see?
Do you see a scared little orphan girl who has just lost both Mommy and Daddy?

Tossed from this relative…..to this relative…..to this relative…..to this relative…..to this relative…..
She’s looking for that love that awaited her every morning with a smile on her face,
That love that held her tightly in his arms when she awoke from a bad dream,
That nurturing love that taught her how to knead dough in the kitchen,
That strong love that gave her a lesson on how to fish.

When you look at me, what do you see?
Do you see a young lady who is now in search of the love she lost so long ago when it was buried in the grave?
With a fragile heart, she’s now willing to do anything for anyone in hopes of feeling that someone cares.
Craving warmth and affection, she yields herself to the abuse and misuse of men.

Sad and lonely, she jumps from this marriage…..to this marriage…..to this marriage…..to this marriage…..to this marriage,
Finally settling for a man who doesn’t find her worthy of a ring.

When you look at me, what do you see?
Do you see a woman who is tired and ashamed?
Her mistakes replay in her mind over…..and over…..and over…..and over…..and over again,
Mistakes made all in the name of love.

On a warm afternoon, she approaches Jacob’s well where she finds a strange man sitting nearby.
She’s amazed when he parts His lips to speak, let alone ask her for a drink.
After all, she’s a Samaritan; he’s a Jew.
She’s nothing!
Or at least that’s what she’s believed ever since that nurturing, strong love she once knew was buried deep in the ground.

When you look at me, what do you see?
Do you see a woman who, in spite of life’s hardships, still has a gleam of hope?

A hope that is ignited when the man at the well offers her the love she’s been searching, for so long,
A love that won’t abuse her, misuse her and then throw her away,
A love that endures forever…..and ever…..and ever…..and ever…..and evermore,
A love that, once received, must be shared with everyone she meets,
A love that draws others to the well where they also receive salvation and healing.

So, again I ask the question…..when you look at me, what do YOU see?”

The spoken word “When You Look At Me, What Do You See?” was inspired by a well-known story in the Bible.

Recognize it?

It’s the story of the Samaritan woman Jesus met one day at a well in Samaria. This story can be found in John 4.

WHAT IS YOUR STORY?
Like the woman at the well, we each have a story. Granted, I don’t know her full story, because we’re only offered a glimpse into her life. However, God gave me an imagination, and I can imagine what life might’ve been like for her. I can picture what might’ve happened to cause her to make certain decisions. There’s a story behind her decisions.

Gospel singer Vashawn Mitchell wrote a song that says, “You don’t know my story, all the things that I’ve been through. You can’t feel my pain, what I had to go through to get here.” Like Mitchell states in the song, we each have endured hardships. Perhaps those hardships include abuse, molestation, poverty, prejudice, illness or death. As a result, we may be angry, confused, and even depressed.

What is the root cause of such pain?

SIN!

Sin is defined as “rebellion against God; wickedness, evil”. According to Genesis 3, sin first entered the world when Adam and Eve disobeyed God. This truth is reiterated in Romans 5:12 which says:

“Consider this: sin entered our world through one man Adam; and through sin, death followed in hot pursuit. Death spread rapidly to infect all people on the earth as they engaged in sin.”

Nevertheless, Romans 5:19 assures us that:

“Just as through one man’s disobedience every one of us were made sinners, so through the obedience of the one man [Jesus], many of us will be made right.”

WHAT DO YOU NEED FROM JESUS?
When Jesus met this woman at the well, I don’t believe it was by accident. As He and His disciples were traveling, they could’ve stopped anywhere at any time to rest. However, Jesus knew He needed to be at this particular well at this particular time on this particular day to meet this particular woman.

Why?

She NEEDED Him!

She was in need of salvation and healing—–not necessarily physical healing, but mental, emotional, and spiritual healing.

When Jesus initially spoke to the woman, she was surprised. Jews didn’t normally affiliate with Samaritans.

Why not?

At this time in history, the Jews viewed the Samaritan people as inferior. For one, the Samaritans had a history of worshipping idols. Plus, they were labeled half-breeds because they were the products of intermarriages with foreigners. The act of marrying and having children with foreigners was greatly frowned upon. So, given their history, it’s no wonder she questioned why Jesus was speaking to her.

During their encounter, Jesus inquired about the woman’s husband, which brought to light all of her baggage. This woman had been married FIVE times, and the man she was currently with wasn’t even her husband.

Did Jesus have to ask about her relationship status in order to save her and set her free?

Yes, He did! After all, that was a serious problem for her! She needed to be healed from whatever issues she was carrying that had prompted her to have multiple marriages. Being married several times was proof that a man was not going to give this Samaritan woman what she was TRULY looking for.

According to the Bible, having a husband is a good thing. However, as women, we can’t expect men to do for us what only JESUS can do. God didn’t equip any man to do so. It doesn’t matter how nice, intelligent, strong and even rich he may be. This was a truth the Samaritan woman came to realize that day. Jesus said to the woman, “Receive Me and I will set you free, and you will no longer need to look for love in all the wrong places.” Essentially, only JESUS can provide true fulfillment (love, peace, joy, healing, etc.). Man is flawed, but Jesus is not!

Moreover, in John 4:24 Jesus said to her:

“God is a Spirit: and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth.”

In order to worship God the Father sincerely, we must have a relationship with Him, which comes by accepting His Son Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Personally speaking, I can worship God from my spirit because I’m connected to Him. I can hear God’s voice, sense His presence, and know what steps I should take because I’m connected to Him. I have confidence and a more positive self-image because I’m connected to Him. No man can wreak havoc in my life because I’m connected to GOD.

Just like the Samaritan woman, no matter what you’ve done in your past and regardless of your background, where you come from, your family’s reputation or your own reputation, Jesus LOVES you, and He’s here for you! All you have to do is believe and surrender to Him. When you do, like the woman at the well, He will change you and make your life BRAND NEW!

Part I – “When You Look At Me, What Do You See?”

Part II – “When You Look At Me, What Do You See?”

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P.U.S.H. Chapter Five

By Kimberly Joy

On April 12, 2017

In Prayer

P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens. As believers in Christ Jesus, we are to be prayerful, all day, every day. When we pray, it should always be in FAITH. To pray in faith means we know God is going to answer those prayers. We don’t concern ourselves with how He will answer, or even when; we just know He will!

Why is faith so important? Hebrews 11:6 assures us that having faith in God pleases Him and moves Him to action. We see it in the stories we read about Jesus. Jesus healed anyone and everyone because of their faith. Having complete faith in God motivates us to pray UNTIL something happens. That SOMETHING is WHATEVER we’re believing God for.

As we continue to pray and serve God, He will answer. Even if God’s answer is no, He will still answer. In some instances, God may choose to not give us what we’re asking for or at the time we want it. In those situations, we really have to trust that God knows what’s best for us. Isaiah 55:8-9 say:

“8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the Lord.

9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”

IS IT YOUR TIME?
I have prayed and asked God to bless me with some things I wanted right away. However, God said, “No…..Not now….. It’s not time…..You’re not quite ready.”

I’ll give you an example.

All my adult life, I have desired to be married. From the time I was very young, it was instilled in me that every little girl grows up to become a wife and mother. I saw the theme of love and marriage in almost every TV show and movie I watched. I even became a fan of romantic comedies or chick flicks. I assumed that once I graduated from college, I would have my own Cinderella experience: meet my Prince Charming, get married, move into a beautiful house with a white picket fence, have a couple of children and, live happily ever after!

Nonetheless, after living long enough, I now laugh at that idea! I don’t laugh because it’s impossible. I laugh because it wasn’t MY reality. Once upon a time, I thought that was every little girl’s dream and reality. However, I now know better. I now know that not every blessing comes how or when we expect. I also now know that everyone is not meant to take the same path in life. In fact, I’m still waiting to become a wife. It has taken a long time for me to accept the fact that I didn’t get married when I thought I would or when others expected me to. Honestly, there was a time when I questioned if God was even going to answer that particular prayer. I wondered if it was even meant for me to be a wife. I told God that if it wasn’t in the cards for me to be married, then I needed Him to take away the desire. Needless to say, God reassured me that it is still His will for me to be married.

FATHER GOD KNOWS BEST
Second guessing God is a mistake we sometimes make. If He doesn’t answer according to our timeline, then we want to, either give up on the promise, or go outside His will and take matters into our own hands. However, the last thing we need to do is go outside the will of God. He knows what’s best for us. He knows what we don’t know. He sees what we don’t see.

A well-known Gospel singer, whose name I won’t mention, has shared over the years how her first marriage almost resulted in her death. God had told her not to marry her fiance. Even the day of her wedding, God was warning her not to walk down the aisle. She told God, however, that she couldn’t cancel the wedding. “We spent all this money! All the guests are here! How would it look for me to walk away?!”

She, unfortunately, learned the hard way the importance of obeying the voice of God.

Her husband beat her during their marriage. The abuse got so bad that she eventually drove away in her car with only the clothes on her back. She was afraid he was going to kill her!

I am grateful that God didn’t allow me to get into a situation I would have regretted later. I’m also thankful He gave me time to learn and to grow. My time as a single woman has helped build my confidence. More importantly, I’ve learned how to love myself.

Once upon a time, I didn’t truly love me. I depended on relationships and friendships to validate me as a person. In response to my negative thinking, God said, “NO!!! You only need Me to validate you! If no one loves you, you love you!” So, ladies—and gentlemen—we have to love God and ourselves first before we can expect to love anyone else.

WHAT DOES GOD SAY?
Moreover, don’t believe the notion that you have to be married by a certain age. It’s not about what people think or say. It’s about what GOD knows and says. If you’re concerned about having children, remember that with God, nothing is impossible! If He could do it for people in the Bible like Abraham and Sarah and Zachariah and Elizabeth, He can do it for you, too! God can still enable you to have a healthy child.

Also, I want you to consider another possibility. You have a desire to be a parent, right? Have you ever considered that God may have called you to raise children you didn’t birth? Perhaps you’re to be someone’s mentor, godparent, foster parent, or adoptive parent. So many children are in need of love, support, and a home to call their own. You may just be the person to provide that.

I personally know single women of God who have chosen to raise children they didn’t birth. They didn’t give up on their desires to be mothers, but they opened their hearts and minds to the possibility that God had other plans. One of the mothers, whom I’ve known for years, has done an excellent job raising her daughter to be hard-working, kind and respectful. In fact, her daughter is a senior in high school and will be a college freshman in the fall. Although this young lady’s birth parents were unable to raise her, God had a ram in the bush. Perhaps YOU are someone’s ram in the bush.

Whether you’re believing God for marriage, children or something else of great significance, I urge you to not give up praying and believing. God hasn’t forgotten your prayers. You have to trust He knows what He’s doing. Fighting the process will only further delay the blessing. So, allow God to prepare you for the greater that is coming in your life and continue to P.U.S.H.!!!

(“The Kimberly Joy Show: P.U.S.H. Pray Until Something Happens Part 5”)

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