Tag: Words

Words of Death or Life…..What Will YOU Speak?

On October 16, 2017

(THE KIMBERLY JOY SHOW: Teaching Our Youth to Speak Life)

WHAT ARE WORDS OF DEATH?
The longer I live, the more I realize just how important and powerful words are. I personally believe we can accomplish more and see greater things, like healings and miracles, when we learn how to cast down words of death and embrace words of life. What are “words of death”?
The following are a few examples:

“You’re ugly!”

“You’re stupid!”

“You’re worthless!”

“You’re pathetic!”

“Nobody wants you!”

“I hate you!”

“You can die for all I care!”

Some pretty harsh words, aren’t they?! I’m reminded of one of my favorite movies The Color Purple.

The movie, which includes legendary actors Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover and Oprah Winfrey, is deemed a classic. I believe it’s a classic because many people connect with the storyline. In the movie, the main character Celie is a woman who endures abuse most of her life, especially from the men who are supposed to love and take care of her. She’s not just beaten down by her husband’s fist, but by the words of death or hate that spew from his lips. Consequently, she doesn’t love herself. She walks around with her head hanging low, ashamed of who she is.

One of the more popular lines from the movie, a line viewers often find funny, is in actuality a very hurtful statement. When Celie first meets blues singer Shug Avery, a woman she happens to admire very much, Shug looks her straight in her eyes and calls her ugly. Now, one would think Celie wouldn’t want anything to do with Shug after that insult. However, she doesn’t seem offended. Why not? She’s accustomed to being verbally abused.

Have you been the target of hateful words or words of death? Maybe your experiences haven’t been as bad as Celie’s, but the words spoken to you still hurt. Pain is still pain! I get it! As a matter of fact, it took me years to get over some things that were said to me. Why? I allowed certain statements, even if they weren’t true, to take root in my heart.

WHAT ARE SOME SOLUTIONS?
Fortunately, I learned how to pray and take my concerns to God. I also became a student of the Bible. I adopted scriptures which ministered to my specific needs, memorized them and spoke them aloud so I could hear them and start to believe. In due time, those same hurtful words were uprooted, and I am now free!

Now that I’m free, it’s my desire and prayer to encourage others, particularly young ladies. After all, I know what it’s like to be a young lady who doesn’t truly love herself.

Personally speaking, I believe we, who make up the body of Christ, need to really encourage our young people and teach them the importance of words.

HOW CAN WORDS OF DEATH AFFECT AN INDIVIDUAL?
Words of death or hate are designed to kill a person mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Such words can also physically kill a person. For instance, an individual can feel so low and depressed because of words which have been spoken to him or her, that he or she doesn’t want to live anymore. If they could, they would just go to sleep and never wake up again. That’s scary! But it’s reality! Words are just that powerful!

Let’s consider our youth. We’re hearing more news reports of children and teenagers taking their own lives. Young people, who have their whole lives ahead of them, would rather die! Some people believe that today’s youth aren’t as tough as they were once upon a time. However, we must consider that we older adults weren’t exposed to nearly as much as they are now. For example, back in the day, if a child was bullied, it was typically at school or on the playground. Unfortunately, now there’s cyberbullying (bullying via the internet). Basically, a person can be humiliated and threatened on social media. “WWW” stands for “world wide web” because information can be spread all over the world. So, a child or teenager, who is very vulnerable, can feel like the ENTIRE WORLD is against him or her simply because of WORDS.

HOW CAN WE HELP OUR YOUTH?
Whatever role you play in a young person’s life, whether you’re a parent, guardian, aunt, uncle, grandparent, older sibling, teacher, coach, mentor, youth pastor, pastor, etc., I believe it’s important to teach our young people that words are indeed powerful and should, therefore, be used wisely. We need to teach them the importance of focusing on the positive instead of the negative. We must teach them how to cast down the words of death that may have been spoken to them, and embrace words of life, which can be found in God’s Word. Such guidance will enable them to see themselves through GOD’s eyes. The following are a few scriptures which can be memorized and recited daily for personal motivation:

Joshua 1:9 (New Living Translation), “This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord, your God is with you wherever you go.”

Psalms 139:14 (New International Version), “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…..”

Philippians 4:13 (New King James Version), “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

As men and women of God, we have been given authority to speak life. We should therefore speak life over our children every day. We can declare what will and will not happen to them. For example, around this time last year, my brother and his wife were given some bad news regarding their two sons. One was said to have an enlarged heart, while the other was said to have a rare, bone disease. When I got the news, the auntie in me wanted to fall on the floor, cry and beg God to heal my nephews. However, before I could shed one tear, the Holy Spirit stopped me! He said, “Don’t cry and have a pity party, but stand and declare their healing!” I heeded His Words, and our parents did the same. As a result, a week later, the doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with either one of my nephews!

Hallelujah! Glory be to GOD!!!

I encourage you, as a son or daughter of God, to speak life in every situation. Don’t allow what you see or hear or the current circumstances in your life to intimidate you. Realize and understand that YOUR words have POWER!

THE PRAYER OF SALVATION
If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, you can do so right now. I then encourage you to find a good Bible-believing church that will help you grow in your relationship with the Lord.

Romans 10:9 (NIV) says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Please pray the following prayer:

Dear Jesus, I come to You confessing I am a sinner in need of a Savior. I believe You shed Your blood on the cross and died for my sins, were buried and rose again so I could be free! Please forgive me for my sins and the life I have lived. I confess You Jesus as Lord and accept You as my own personal Savior. According to the Word of God, I am now saved! Hallelujah! I AM FREE!

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY OF GOD!!!!!

If you find value in this article, please share.

To subscribe to The Kimberly Joy Blog and receive new articles by email, please leave your email address in the box marked SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG VIA EMAIL provided at the end of this article.

For daily inspiration, please follow The Kimberly Joy Show on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Empowered To Speak

By Kimberly Joy

On October 11, 2017

In Love

https://www.facebook.com/kimberly.j.thomas/videos/10211615551759068/(THE KIMBERLY JOY SHOW: Taming the Tongue)

HOW ARE WE EMPOWERED TO SPEAK?
When God created man, He created him in His own image and likeness (Genesis 1:26). Consequently, as humans we are empowered to speak with authority. In fact, when we look at the first man Adam, his first recorded assignment in the Bible was to name each animal God had created. That was a big, important assignment when you think about it! God entrusted Adam to give each animal its own unique name.

Like Adam, as children of God, we are entrusted to use our words to make a positive impact. Consider the apostle Paul. In Philippians 3:1, he explains that he never gets tired of telling the people about Jesus and encouraging them to remain faithful. Just like Paul, we are to use our voices to tell others about Jesus. We are also to use our words to pray and encourage someone.

Unfortunately, some believers in Christ or Christians choose to use their words in a negative way. I’ve attended church all my life, so I’ve witnessed church members say some really cruel things about others, including other believers.

I’ve even been guilty of it myself. If we were to be honest, we’ve used our words to judge, criticize, ridicule, belittle, backbite, and gossip. Basically, we’ve used our words to tear down and hate on other people.

WHY DO SOME OF US SPEAK WITH HATE?
Why do some of us speak with hate when we are supposed to show the love of God? It’s a learned behavior. We model what we see and hear, especially as children because, more than likely, we don’t know any better. Then after we grow up, mature and gain more knowledge and understanding, we still use our words negatively because it feels good to the flesh (the sinful nature). Thus, we speak what’s in our hearts. Luke 6:45 (New International Version) says:

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

Some are simply comfortable criticizing and judging other people. For instance, if I can harp on someone else’s faults (or what I THINK are someone else’s faults) then I can ignore my own faults and pretend I don’t have any. If I magnify someone else’s so-called issues, then I can convince myself that my issues aren’t as bad as theirs. Moreover, some of us have a tendency to make excuses for our behavior. Here’s an example:

“Oh no! This isn’t gossiping! We need to discuss this so we know what to pray about.”

Another example:

“Hey Sis! How’re you doing? Have you heard the news about Sis. Watermelon? Well, I’m not trying to talk about her or anything like that! I’m just calling to let you know what I heard so….you know….so you can pray.”

And then another one:

“Look, I’m just keeping it real! I’m not biting my tongue because the devil needs to be exposed!!!”

Do any of the above examples sound remotely familiar? The problem with these statements is the motive behind them. There’s no LOVE! Now, I’m not suggesting that if an individual is guilty of using his or her words in a negative way, that he or she doesn’t possess love for other people. I’m not suggesting that at all! What I am suggesting is that every believer must learn how to tame his or her tongue. As humans, it’s easy to lean towards what’s negative or evil. Why? Although we’ve given our lives to Jesus, we are still in this flesh and there’s nothing holy or righteous about the flesh. Therefore, we need to adhere to Galatians 5:16-17 (NIV), which say:

“16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit [desires] what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.”

In order to not yield to the flesh, we must be guided by the Holy Spirit. In order to be guided by the Holy Spirit or the Spirit of God, we must spend time with God praying to Him, praising and worshiping Him, and studying and obeying His Word.

HOW CAN YOU TAME YOUR TONGUE?
If you find yourself talking negatively about someone, do a self-evaluation and check your heart. You may even ask yourself, “Why am I saying these things? What’s really going with me?” And be honest with yourself! Then change your thinking. Change your words. Turn that negative statement into a positive one. In some instances, it may be better to not say anything at all and just pray about that person or situation.

Although the tongue is capable of causing great harm, as children of God, we are responsible for taming it. We must be mindful of the words we speak on a daily basis. God expects us to be witnesses for Jesus Christ, not just when we share the Gospel, but by being examples of love and righteousness. Remember, people watch what we do and they listen to what we say. God is holding you and me accountable!

THE PRAYER OF SALVATION
If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, you can do so right now. I then encourage you to find a good Bible-believing church that will help you grow in your relationship with the Lord.

Romans 10:9 (NIV) says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Please pray the following prayer:

Dear Jesus, I come to You confessing I am a sinner in need of a Savior. I believe You shed Your blood on the cross and died for my sins, were buried and rose again so I could be free! Please forgive me for my sins and the life I have lived. I confess You Jesus as Lord and accept You as my own personal Savior. According to the Word of God, I am now saved! Hallelujah! I AM FREE!

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY OF GOD!!!!!

If you find value in this article, please share.

To subscribe to The Kimberly Joy Blog and receive new articles by email, please leave your email address in the box marked SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG VIA EMAIL provided at the end of this article.

For daily inspiration, please follow The Kimberly Joy Show on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

Reaping the Consequences of What You Speak

By Kimberly Joy

On September 25, 2017

In Faith, Inspirational, Prayer

https://www.facebook.com/kimberly.j.thomas/videos/10211513751694130/

HOW MIGHT YOU REAP THE CONSEQUENCES OF WHAT YOU SPEAK?
As I shared in my previous article “A Flame of Fire: The Power of Words,” God designed words to carry power or authority. When we read the first chapter of Genesis, we see that God spoke things into existence. He then gave Adam authority to speak when He instructed him to name all the animals. Therefore, just like Adam was given authority to speak, we too have been given authority. Proverbs 18:21 (New Living Translation) says:

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”

Wow! That’s a strong statement. We reap the consequences of what we speak! For instance, people either achieve greatness or fail to ever achieve because of words. Some children excel in school, and then later flunk out of high school because of words. Many choose to live their lives to the fullest, while some see suicide as their only option because of WORDS!

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is a quote I heard often as a child and even quoted myself. Although I understand the message the originator was trying to convey, simply reciting what seemed to be a catchy phrase didn’t stop the pain certain words caused me.

I wrote an article last year for my blog entitled “Why Can’t I Be Beautiful?” In the article I discuss how certain words caused me to feel ugly as a teenager. The boy who called me ugly didn’t throw sticks and stones to break my bones or put his hands on me at all. I remained physically intact, but mentally and emotionally I was a mess! I was humiliated and felt alone because no one sitting with us in the school cafeteria on that particular day came to my aid. Even though nobody laughed at his hurtful comments, they didn’t try to defend me either. So, I assumed they agreed with everything he said, which only made me feel worse. Although that was the only time he ever insulted me, his words stayed with me for years to come.

HOW CAN YOU MOVE PAST HURTFUL WORDS?
That young man’s words were powerful enough to knock me down, but his words couldn’t destroy me! Why not? I have family and friends who have always loved and encouraged me. Most importantly, I have a relationship with God, and my Heavenly Father loves me with an everlasting love! While I was still in high school, God began directing me to His Word and teaching me how to cast down the words of hate and embrace His words of love! So, I now know that God’s Word and the words of life I choose to speak can overpower and annihilate all lies of the enemy!

As a matter of fact, God wants us to speak His Word in every area of our lives and in every situation. God’s Word gives us life, hope, encouragement, instruction, guidance, and so much more.
Do you realize that you believe what you speak and you live what you believe? If I believe I am a failure then I’m going to talk like a failure and throughout my life I will continue to fail. On the other hand, if I believe I am a success, then I will speak like a person who is successful and will encounter successes along the way. However, it doesn’t mean everything will always go well. Facing disappointments from time to time is part of the human experience. Nevertheless, how and how soon we move past the disappointments are contingent on the words we speak. In the midst of trouble, heartache, and pain, we should still speak God’s Word! We should still speak words of life!

WHAT IS THE BEST USE OF OUR WORDS?
As children of God, not only should we be mindful of how we speak concerning ourselves, we must be mindful of how we speak concerning others. In my article “A Flame of Fire: The Power of Words,” I mentioned how a number of Christians were insulting a particular pastor all over social media because they didn’t agree with how he handled the hurricane situation in Houston. Personally speaking, I don’t believe God was pleased with what was being said about this gentleman. James 3:9-10 (NLT) say:

“9 Sometimes [the tongue] praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes [the tongue] curses those who have been made in the image of God.

10 And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!”

Whether you and I agree with a particular individual, we must remember that he or she is still God’s child. Even if we’re complaining and criticizing about something that is true, God STILL holds us accountable for our words. If we don’t like what we see or hear, what is the best use of our words? Yep, that’s right…..PRAYER!
Otherwise, we’re only adding fuel to the fire, and God is not getting the glory. Consider the children of Israel in the book of Exodus. As Moses was leading them to the promised land of Canaan, they often complained because things weren’t going their way. As a result of their complaining and disobedience, it took them forty years to reach their destination. Their choice of words delayed the promise!

So, beginning today, I encourage you to really think before you speak. You don’t want YOUR choice of words to delay God’s promises for YOUR life!

THE PRAYER OF SALVATION
If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you can do so right now. I then encourage you to find a good Bible-believing church that will help you grow in your relationship with the Lord.

Romans 10:9 (NIV) says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Please pray the following prayer:

Dear Jesus, I come to You confessing I am a sinner in need of a Savior. I believe You shed Your blood on the cross and died for my sins, were buried and rose again so I could be free! Please forgive me for my sins and the life I have lived. I confess You Jesus as Lord and accept You as my own personal Savior. According to the Word of God, I am now saved! Hallelujah! I AM FREE!

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY OF GOD!!!!!

If you find value in this article, please share.

To subscribe to The Kimberly Joy Blog and receive new articles by email, please leave your email address in the box marked SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG VIA EMAIL provided at the end of this article.

For daily inspiration, please follow The Kimberly Joy Show on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

A Flame of Fire: The Power of Words

By Kimberly Joy

On September 18, 2017

In Prayer

https://www.facebook.com/kimberly.j.thomas/videos/10211513520648354/

WHY IS THE HUMAN TONGUE COMPARED TO A FLAME OF FIRE?
Words have power! Did you know that? As a matter of fact, in the third chapter of James, the writer compares the tongue to a flame of fire. Now, why would he compare that tiny organ, which God so carefully placed inside your mouth to assist with eating and speaking, to fire?

It’s safe to assume we all know what fire is. So, what does fire do? For one, a fire can provide light. Now, we are living in the 21st century where we use light bulbs to see. But, what if the power goes out for whatever reason? You use your cell phone, you say? But, what if your phone dies and you have no way of charging it because there’s no power? You use a flashlight? Yeah, but what if you don’t have any batteries for the flashlight? What do you do then? You can use a match or a lighter and light some candles, and the little flames that appear will provide you with the light you need.

Besides providing light, a fire can also provide heat for keeping you warm and for cooking your food. However, if something goes wrong with that fire, those same flames that were giving you light and heat can get out of control and cause considerable damage, even destruction. People have lost homes, businesses, cars, valuable items, and, unfortunately, loved ones, due to an out of control fire.

James 3:6 (New Living Translation) says:

“And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body…..”

Although very small, the human tongue is capable of doing some serious damage, even total destruction. Why?! Words have POWER!

WHAT IS POWER?
When an individual has power, he or she has the ability to make things happen or to get something done. A person with power has authority or even control over an individual or a group of people. Power can also refer to having might or strength. Therefore, God designed words to have power! How do I know? Let’s go back to the beginning. In Genesis chapter one, the sun, moon, stars, sky, ocean, grass, trees, flowers, and animals were all formed by God. HOW??? God simply spoke WORDS. Genesis 1:3 (King James Version) says:

“And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.”

Then verse 11 says:

“And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.”

In other words, it HAPPENED…..it happened just as God said it would.

Verses 26 and 27 say:

“26 And God said, Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27 So God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.”

As the verses state, we are created in God’s image and likeness. Thus, the words we speak are also designed to carry authority or weight. Consider the first man Adam. According to Genesis 2:19, God gave Adam authority to name all the animals. Although God created them, He allowed Adam to determine what each animal would be called. Whatever Adam named each animal, God approved it. So, just like Adam, our words have power. Therefore, God teaches us in His Word to be mindful of what we speak. Ephesians 4:29 (New International Version) says:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

HOW DOES GOD WANT US TO SPEAK?
God doesn’t want His children speaking words which are corrupt or unhealthy to those who hear them. Rather, He wants us using words that will help someone. For example, a few weeks ago, a well-known pastor received a lot of backlash during the devastation of Hurricane Harvey in Houston, Texas. Because he has a very large ministry, he was accused of not coming to the aid of flood victims as quickly as he should have. Even after he opened the doors of his church, many people still attacked him.

He was accused of being selfish, money hungry and a false prophet. He was basically called everything but a child of God——even a demon!

Honestly, the things people said about this particular man disturbed me. I wasn’t so much bothered by non-believers, but by those who profess to be believers in Christ. Why? Instead of just using their words to uplift and pray for this man and for the flood victims, they spent valuable time using their words to try to tear him down, especially on social media.

Whether a person is right or wrong, God still holds us responsible for what we say. So, I encourage you to be mindful of your words. Recognize that the words you speak carry much power or weight. Do you want God to hear you using your words for evil or for good?

THE PRAYER OF SALVATION
If you haven’t accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you can do so right now. I then encourage you to find a good Bible-believing church that will help you grow in your relationship with the Lord.

Romans 10:9 (NIV) says, “If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Please pray the following prayer:

Dear Jesus, I come to You confessing I am a sinner in need of a Savior. I believe You shed Your blood on the cross and died for my sins, were buried and rose again so I could be free! Please forgive me for my sins and the life I have lived. I confess You Jesus as Lord and accept You as my own personal Savior. According to the Word of God, I am now saved! Hallelujah! I AM FREE!

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY OF GOD!!!!!

If you find value in this article, please share.

To subscribe to The Kimberly Joy Blog and receive new articles by email, please leave your email address in the box marked SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG VIA EMAIL provided at the end of this article.

For daily inspiration, please follow The Kimberly Joy Show on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

The Power of Words

By Kimberly Joy

On July 5, 2016

In Faith

Words have power! Did you know that? If you are a living, breathing human being, then I’m sure you know what I mean. In the Bible in the third chapter of James, the writer compares the tongue to a flame of fire. Now, why would he compare that tiny organ, which God so carefully placed inside your mouth to assist with eating and speaking, to fire? James 3:6 (New Living Translation) says, “And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set on fire by hell itself.” Although very small, the human tongue is capable of doing considerable damage, even total destruction, because words have POWER! That’s the way God designed it! In Genesis 1, the sun, moon, stars, sky, ocean, grass, trees, flowers, and animals were all formed by God simply speaking WORDS. As humans created in God’s image and likeness, our words are also designed to carry weight.

People either achieve greatness or fail to ever achieve because of words. Some children excel in school, and then later flunk out in their teens because of words. Many choose to live their lives to the fullest, while some see suicide as their only option because of WORDS! “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is a quote I heard often and even repeated as a child. Although I understand the message the originator was trying to convey, simply reciting the catchy phrase didn’t prevent the pain that certain words caused. I share in my blog post “Why Can’t I Be Beautiful?” about how certain words caused me to feel ugly as a teenager. The boy who was guilty of hurting me didn’t throw sticks and stones to break my bones or even punch me in the face with his fist. I remained physically intact, but mentally and emotionally I was a mess. Nevertheless, I thank God for His everlasting love which holds me and keeps me safe! My loving Father directed me to His Word and taught me how to cast down the words of hate and embrace His words of LOVE! I discovered that, although the young man’s words were powerful, God’s Word and the words of LIFE I choose to speak will overpower and annihilate the lies of my enemies!

James 3 shows me that, although the tongue is capable of causing great harm, it can be tamed. Therefore, as a child of God, I must tame my tongue daily. I am to be a witness for Jesus Christ, not just when I share the Gospel, but by displaying God’s love and righteousness. People watch what I do and listen to what I say. James 3:9 (New International Version) says, “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.” I must control my tongue daily so that I don’t damage someone’s heart. God is holding me responsible!

I pray that more of our children learn the Word of God and are surrounded by adults who model good behavior and speech. I pray that we adults always make quality time for our children engaging them in productive conversations. Such moments are crucial because that’s when we’re able to speak words of life to counteract what they hear outside of the home. It can be a matter of life or death! God and His Word definitely saved mine!

If you find value in this blog post, please share.

If you would like to subscribe to The Kimberly Joy Blog and receive new posts by email, please leave your email address in the box marked SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG VIA EMAIL provided at the end of this post.

Thank you for your support!

Why Can’t I Be Beautiful?

By Kimberly Joy

On June 12, 2016

In Love Yourself

“Why can’t I be beautiful?” was a question I repeatedly asked myself, as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was only 12 years old, and life for me SUCKED! Well, it didn’t really suck, but as an adolescent girl in the midst of puberty, I magnified everything to the tenth power! Prior to adolescence, periodically I was ridiculed for being tall and skinny, and for sporting a greasy Jheri curl. Although I didn’t care for my body image and hair, I didn’t deem myself ugly. If only my legs were bigger and my hair longer, I would be just fine. However, when puberty hit, my face exploded with uncontrollable acne and oily skin. I looked a mess! I remember taking my 7th grade school picture and absolutely hating it, for my face shined like the moon on a well-lit night. “Why do I have to look like this?” I asked myself as I stood in the mirror. I always had a habit of comparing myself to other females, but this experience took my insecurities to another level. I can recall sitting in class and scoping out the classroom, admiring all the BEAUTIFUL girls. I longed to look like one of them —– clear skin and long hair. Life would be so much better if God would show me the same grace He had shown these beautiful swans!

The day that “Jacob” called me UGLY was a day I would soon never forget, for it solidified what I had already come to believe about myself. It was any normal school day as we sat in the cafeteria eating lunch at Princeton Junior High School. I don’t remember the conversation or if we were even arguing. However, what I now know about myself that I didn’t know then was that I can be sarcastic, and I tend to have a dry sense of humor. So, whatever I said to “Jacob” set him off, especially since it caused those around us to laugh. Not wanting to be the butt of my joke, he went off. I honestly don’t remember everything he said because once the words, “YOU ARE UGLY!” hatefully spewed from his lips, I didn’t hear anything else.  “WOW! So, it’s true! I really am UGLY! I knew it! I was just hoping no one else had noticed,” I thought as I sat there humiliated at the lunch table, while “Jacob” continued browbeating me.

That moment in the cafeteria, not only made me feel ugly, but ALONE. No one, and I mean NO ONE came to my aid! I couldn’t understand why no one stood up for me. The people I thought were now my friends said absolutely nothing in my defense. As I look back on it as an adult, there can be a number of reasons why they didn’t say anything. Perhaps, they didn’t want “Jacob” going off on them, too. Better yet, maybe they were waiting to see what I would say in retaliation. In fact, “Jacob” probably didn’t expect me to be so quiet. Prior to this moment, he and I had been very cordial to each other.  But, if anyone was waiting for me to speak up for myself or to even turn around and call him ugly too, they were going to be waiting a long time. There was no point in fighting back because, as far as I was concerned, he was right —– I WAS UGLY!  Already possessing low self-esteem, I just sat there and allowed the hateful words to take root in my heart. As a 12 year old 7th grader, I adopted a mindset that would take me YEARS to break away from! As time went on, I did my best to avoid confrontation with the wrong people. I didn’t want another person pointing out the fact that I was ugly.

Entering high school, I hated how I viewed myself and wanted to believe differently, but it was hard. Naturally, my family tried to assure me that I was BEAUTIFUL. However, it didn’t matter what they said if I didn’t believe it myself.  I didn’t know the right strategy to take, but I knew I had to change my way of thinking. My dad used to always tell me that what people think about themselves is what they become. So, I began telling myself that I was beautiful. For a long time, I still didn’t believe it, but I continued saying it. My confidence was at stake! Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” In other words, what was spoken to me on that haunting day caused me to feel less than what God had really made me to be because I chose to embrace hateful words rather than dismiss them. Nevertheless, thanks to the love of God, family and true friends, I was motivated to push through, even while the words were still echoing in my ears years later. I was tired of being insecure. I wanted to be better, and I knew that was contingent upon me changing the way I thought and spoke.

My beliefs didn’t change overnight. It took some years to uproot the “plants” that had grown in my heart. In fact, I’m still shaking off residue even now! Although it was a painful experience for a 12 year old girl, who only wants to be accepted and liked by her peers, it helped shape me into the woman I am today. Because of that experience, I had to learn to speak words of LIFE to myself. If you keep hearing something over and over again, eventually you will believe it. Romans 10:17 says, “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Although the apostle Paul was referring to having faith in Jesus Christ, the scripture can be applied to other situations, as well. I wanted to believe I was beautiful so I began telling myself just that! Psalms 139:14 states, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” God took time to lovingly craft me in His powerful, yet gentle hands! Now, how can I deny such a beautiful MASTERPIECE?!!

Recording artist Leah Smith sings a song entitled “Beautifully Made”. The first time I heard the lyrics I was amazed at how much it parallels the journey I call MY LIFE. Leah sings, “I’ve had those days where I wanted to be someone else, not good enough just being me. And I’ve had those times when I’ve looked into the mirror not happy at all at what I’d see, ’cause I don’t feel special, and I don’t feel beautiful and I don’t feel smart enough, strong enough, good enough – feel like nothing at all. But in times like these I come back to the truth that I have found!    I am beautifully and wonderfully made! I am beautifully and wonderfully made!”

I encourage you to listen to the song in its entirety. I pray it blesses you!

If you find value in this blog post, please share.

If you would like to subscribe to The Kimberly Joy Blog and receive new posts by email, please leave your email address in the box marked SUBSCRIBE TO BLOG VIA EMAIL provided at the end of this post.

Thank you for your support!

Archives
Archives
Categories
Categories